Monday, April 13, 2009

You know you're a distance runner if...

I liked Emiliee's post about volleyball so I decided to do my own little rendition about running.

You know you're a distance runner if...

...you're always hungry.
...you combine the words "6 miles" and "easy day" in the same sentence.
...you have more miles on your running shoes than on your car.
...you're short shorts rival the cheerleader's shorts.
...you wear less clothing while racing than most swimsuits have.
...Saturdays are essentially nonexistent.
...all you eat is carbs.
...your calves are twice as large as your biceps.
...the term "offseason" means the two weeks between track and Summer training.
...you know how to spit when you run...kind of.
...you know who Steve Prefontaine is.
...and he's your idol.
...you drink less than 2 liters in a day, and you're dehydrated.
...you use the bathroom multiple times in the same class period.
...you're part of, or know what the sub-5 club is.
...you think sprinter's workouts are weak!
...you've taken an oath to never drink soda again.
...you consistently hear a large man with a gun say "alright, take em off"
...you wish you were Kenyan.
...you know what it's like to have a hangover, but have never had alcohol.
...puking once or more a week is normal.
...you always run in your dreams.
...accelerating up hills has become second nature to you.
...you get angry when the cross country nationals isn't on the first page of the sports section.
...you schedule dates around meets.
...you're running clothes cost more than your school clothes.
...you love an excuse to wear tights.
...your underarmor shirt is loose.
...you know what it's like to consistently come close to passing out.
...the next state competition is on your mind from the moment the last one finished.
...you can see your ribs through your spandex shirt.
...your water bottle is like a security blanket to you.
...you accelerate around corners.
...you love playing mind games with the other team-"he's dying, just look at him!"
...the only real muscles in your body are your legs, and your abs, the rest are just sticks.
...you run more miles in a week than the bus travels to your meets.
...people call you a masochist.
...a seven minute mile or faster is your easy pace.
...you think hiking trails is weak.
...you run in the snow.
...you run in the rain.
...you run in 100 degrees.
...you run all the time.
...your knees look like some kind of modern art, and you're proud of it!
...you've rolled your ankle countless times.
...you've rolled your ankle more than once in the same run, and then just kept going.
...you put off doing homework because you need a good nights rest for tomorrow's meet.
...your summer consists of waking up before 6:00 a.m. and running 10 miles before 8:00 a.m. and then running at least three miles after dinner.
...your motto is eat, run, sleep, repeat.
...you enjoy "Chariots of Fire".
...your theme song is the "Chariots of Fire" theme song.
...when you're not in pain you feel unaccomplished.
...you laugh when sprinters complain about running the 200.
...you get honked at at least 4 times when you're running.
...shin splints have become a chronic disease.
...you've memorized these three numbers, 1:58, 4:26, 9:45.
...your team's goal is for the lowest score.
...you actually draft while running.
...your warm-up is longer than most people run in a week.
...you run the state and region courses with your eyes closed almost daily.
...the majority of your Christmas and birthday presents are running items.
...you laugh at other sports' "conditioning".
...you're glad when you're half dead at the end of a race.
...you have archenemies whom you've never talked to.
...you miss practice and your punishment is not running.
...when you finish a race you feel like nothing can bring you down...until you see your time.
...you know what PR means.
...you know all your PR's
...when you get a PR you feel like you could fly...if you weren't so tired.
...as soon you get a PR you start figuring out splits for your soon to be PR.
...running is fun.
...you run to push yourself to be something more, something better, and greater than before.
...you run to win.

7 comments:

Emilee said...

Well, i can't say i'm much of a distance runner either but these are very fun to read! Alot of them made me laugh. Especially the one that says "you laugh at other sports conditioning." I'm pretty sure Kim and I have witnessed that one before ;)

Megan said...

Ha ha! I love it! Very clever.. and funny!

Anonymous said...

Way too true! Nice depiction, I loved it!

Andres Bosque said...

You know you're a runner if...
After running 600 miles you finally realize how awesome it is, and how absolutely crazy you have become.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like me only on a bike, Prefonteine is awsome, I envy his mustache

Anonymous said...

man derek those are freaking hilarious bro! All of those are true and i really liked the one about the sprinters. ha ha ha


-josh

Derek said...

Thanks guys, and thanks for checking out my blog Josh!