Quiet

Your mind's racing and it feels as if, were you to relax your focus for just one moment, your brains would come spilling out your ears and you would collapse into a blissful peace and quiet. But you can't let that happen, so you keep repeating, focus, focus, focus, focus, and then you realize you're just repeating something and not focusing on anything, your mind is completely dead but alive. So you lose focus on "focus" and your mind begins to wander. It moves through all kinds of things, physics school math running state region, and all kinds of things, all jumbled up there in that brain of yours making no coherent sense combined with a bunch of random emotions that don't even belong there. Random things from the complexity of the universe to what did I even have for lunch today. Your mind's dead but at the same time it's racing faster than the speed of light, thinking, changing, creating, and destroying all at the same time, and you lay there completely unable to control it, a puppet of your thoughtless thoughtful mind with drool hanging from your mouth and your eyes beginning to shut as your neck slowly gives in to gravity and your head begins to drop. Yet your mind races on. What am I feeling, what am I supposed to be feeling, what's going on, why am I even here, questions, questions, questions, no answers, at least not ones that make sense. Random swirls of color swim inside your mind tantalizing forming the beginnings of any coherent thought, but then it's gone replaced by different swirls, thoughts, emotions. Your focus deepens and yet grows more shallow, thoughts become more random yet more centralized, and slowly... slowly through the haze of thoughts colors emotions comes a single coherent and brilliant realization. I'm tired.