Happy Halloween

Cross Country, State, and so much more.

So, I've refrained from writing this post for awhile now, mostly because I've still had to sort out all my emotions from that eventful day. This past Wednesday I ran in what may be the last Cross Country race of my high school career, and indeed arguably the most important one.

This past year of cross country has been amazing. Our team was incredibly strong and fast, and we had a bond that I have never quite felt before in our previous teams. I know I express the sentiments of the whole team when I say that we truly became brothers. Each and every one of us cares about every other member of the team, and we each expected and desired the best out of each other. I believe that we got the best out of everyone. We dedicated ourselves from June 8th to October 21st, and we reaped the fruits of our labors. My head swims with the memories of all those six o'clock summer practices, each trail run and each speed work, from Lambs Canyon, to Cottonwood Complex. And it all came to a head on October 21st, the day of the State Championship race. I won't go over the details of the race, because that's not what this post is about, but I will say we took 4th place in 5A and 5th place overall. It is a very admirable accomplishment, and I am very proud of what my team did. So, if any of you saw me after the race you're probably wondering why I was so emotional about it (yes I cried). And I've got to say, it's not regret, the team did wonderfully, and I know I gave it my all that day, there was nothing I could have done that would have made me race better. Rather, I'm sad at the realization that Cross Country is over for me. I dedicated essentially three years of my life to this sport. I ran almost every day for three years, and then all of a sudden... it just ended. I'm still pretty sad about it all, but I am extremely grateful that I had the opportunity to run, and that I was able to run with such a great group of guys. It's been an amazing journey, and I'm sorry it's had to come to an end, but I say to Coach Olsen and the rest of the team, thanks for the ride.

My journey through cross country has been what I would call a journey of discovery. I started Cross Country as a weak runner, I couldn't run 2 miles without stopping. I remember my first day well, I ran our "Del Taco" run, a four mile run with a large hill. Frankly, it was brutal, I don't think I'd ever experienced quite so much physical exertion and exhaustion. But, I wanted to run, don't ask me why, it was just something I had to do. So I kept at it, I trained and ran mile after mile, my eyes always looking forward to what I could become. So I've trained for three years and discovered a little about myself through running. I discovered I can run, I can dedicate myself to something, I can lead, and I can pursue a dream, even through adversity. There's a lot more than that, but those are what I'll share.

Cross country is my passion, and it always will be. I love the feeling of team brotherhood that comes from it, and believe it or not, I love the feeling of being utterly exhausted after a race or hard work out. That sense of accomplishment, of hard work, of growth, I have yet to experience in any other place. So I've finally discovered, that's why I run, to work hard, and to work towards my potential, to become the best I can be. So, as you could probably guess, after the end of the season I feel a little lost. I've lost something that allowed me to lead and be part of a team that I love, and I've lost a piece of me that has been with me for the past three years. Frankly, now I don't know quite where to go with my running, but I do know this, I'm going to run, whether on my own, or for a college. Whatever is, I'm going to run.

Photo Shoot

So I did my first "official" "photo shoot" the other day. My uncle wanted me to try and take some family photos for him. So, the pictures aren't that great, but I learned quite a bit so hopefully next time they'll be better. Here are some of my favorites.

fall to winter rose

So this is kind of a weird style, but I like the mood this photo makes

Fall Leaves

SOOC

Reach for the sky

another tree, sooc, except for an annoying house that was in the corner, it just wouldn't leave the frame.

Fall

sooc

Golden Tree

The only editing on this one was I had to remove a fence somewhere in the picture, but I won't tell you where :)

Quiet

Your mind's racing and it feels as if, were you to relax your focus for just one moment, your brains would come spilling out your ears and you would collapse into a blissful peace and quiet. But you can't let that happen, so you keep repeating, focus, focus, focus, focus, and then you realize you're just repeating something and not focusing on anything, your mind is completely dead but alive. So you lose focus on "focus" and your mind begins to wander. It moves through all kinds of things, physics school math running state region, and all kinds of things, all jumbled up there in that brain of yours making no coherent sense combined with a bunch of random emotions that don't even belong there. Random things from the complexity of the universe to what did I even have for lunch today. Your mind's dead but at the same time it's racing faster than the speed of light, thinking, changing, creating, and destroying all at the same time, and you lay there completely unable to control it, a puppet of your thoughtless thoughtful mind with drool hanging from your mouth and your eyes beginning to shut as your neck slowly gives in to gravity and your head begins to drop. Yet your mind races on. What am I feeling, what am I supposed to be feeling, what's going on, why am I even here, questions, questions, questions, no answers, at least not ones that make sense. Random swirls of color swim inside your mind tantalizing forming the beginnings of any coherent thought, but then it's gone replaced by different swirls, thoughts, emotions. Your focus deepens and yet grows more shallow, thoughts become more random yet more centralized, and slowly... slowly through the haze of thoughts colors emotions comes a single coherent and brilliant realization. I'm tired.

Region

Region... Region was a race with a lot of mixed feelings for me... Here are the results, the Boy's team finished second to American Fork and beat Pleasant Grove by one point. It was a very good accomplishment, and I am very proud of my team. Our JV squad also finished second to American Fork, something that I am very proud of. However, I somehow still feel as if I'm missing something, I'm not exactly satisfied with our performance. The problem is... I don't like second place. Some would think that finishing second to arguably one of the best teams in the state would be a major accomplishment, something to be extremely happy with and proud of, and I am proud of it. But at the same time... I want to win, and I believe that we can do it. Our Captain from last year made a very good point, why do we run a race? It's because there's no guarantee who's going to win it, no matter how good everyone thinks a team is, they can still be beat, anything can happen, that's why we race. So, I leave region with mixed feelings, I feel the accomplishment of finishing second, but at the same time, there's the slightest bitter tinge from a "not quite", so I leave the race determined to work harder, and to push harder, and to look forward to the State meet with high hopes and expectations. It's gonna be good! So leave you with this quote:
“Life’s battles don't always go to the strongest or fastest man,
But sooner or later the man who wins is the fellow who thinks he can.”
-Pre

Soccer

oops...

Moon Halo