The Calm

I step outside. The sky is grey and lifeless. There is no wind. Trees stand lifeless, leaves surrounding them, remnants of their past glory. I walk. The Seas of people have disappeared, all that remain are trickles, shuffling forward, eyes downcast, or looking to the sky, waiting for the impending storm. A spirit of nervous fear, apprehension, and anticipation seems to permeate the air. I look back. The mountains are shrouded by clouds, suffocated by the thought of what is coming. Yet despite this, there is a calm. A time of preparation, both for those about to experience the storm, and for the storm itself. The Calm is a blessing, we have time to prepare mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for the Storm that lies ahead. Yet the Storm is no doubt still coming, gathering strength. So we hunker down, gather ourselves together, and face what comes. We must prepare while there is a Calm, so that when the Storm comes we will be prepared.

Life comes at ya fast!

39 and 51. Two numbers that as of today are extremely significant. There are currently only 39 days left in the semester, not 39 school days, 39 days, including weekends. That's all that remains of my first semester of College. It's gone by incredibly fast... I can't really describe all the emotions that come with that number 39. It's exciting because it means that school will be over and Christmas break will begin. It's intimidating because that means finals are coming up fast. And it's saddening, because it means that I have only 39 days left with some of the good friends that I've been able to make this semester. It's weird how quickly we can make friends when placed in a situation where we all are in some way forced to rely on each other and to learn to trust one another. I'll miss the new people I've met, my FHE sisters and brothers, as well as those that while I may have known before I've been blessed enough to have the opportunity to get to know better. They've had a profound impact on me, whether they truly understand it or not. I will always be grateful for the friendship, laughs, conversations, and examples they've shown to me this semester. The reason why I have only 39 days left with these individuals is connected with that other number 51, a number that holds even more intense and conflicting emotions. In 51 days I'll be entering the MTC to serve in the Washington D.C. North, Spanish Speaking mission! It's exciting because it means I get to serve a mission, and embark on one of the greatest adventures of my life. It's intimidating because it means I will be charged with seeking out individuals to teach the Gospel and try and bring them to Christ, to change their lives, both her on earth and in the eternities, that's a lot of pressure. It's saddening because it means I have only 51 days left before I won't see my family for two years. I won't get to see my brothers grow in the Priesthood and in the other aspects of their lives; from acting in plays to running in races. I won't get to see my sisters grow as well, whether acting in plays and going to college, or graduating and potentially getting married. I won't get to see my parents for two years, and I'll speak with them only four times during those two years. I will be separated from them by a long distance with no contact beyond emails and letters. I'll be leaving behind the support that I gain from them by their proximity and constant vigilance of my well-being. I'll be leaving friends I've had for the vast majority of my life, brothers that have stood by me throughout our lives. Brothers that I've grown up with, learned with, and bonded with. It's really is sobering. But beyond all that, the excitement, happiness, and joy that will come from serving a mission far outweighs any potential sadness. What greater call, what greater purpose could I have at this time in my life than to serve those who are my brothers and sisters? What greater joy could I have than being an instrument in the hands of the Lord to bring them to Christ, and to Eternal Salvation? So while my life is currently a torrent of conflicting emotions, I have Peace in the realization that this is what I'm supposed to be doing, that while it will be difficult it is also possible, that Christ will always stand by me, and that I am on His errand. So while life does indeed come fast, the Lord always seems to make sure that we'll be provided with ample support to meet the challenges ahead. So here we go, life is going to be one crazy ride!

Dreams

We all have those dreams. Those goals that are far distant, something that we think we would love to have happen, something that is to us incredible. For some people it may be owning a farm, for others winning a Nobel prize or a Gold medal. Some people aspire to greatness, to being noticed, others merely to obtaining a decent livelihood. But we all dream. The question then becomes, will we achieve our dreams? Will we reach for the stars, or merely gaze up at them wishing? There is a danger that comes when we reach for the stars. After all, what if we never get there? The stark reality of gravity may bring us hurtling back down to earth, and that is bound to hurt. It's much easier, much safer, to have two feet firmly planted on the ground of "reality" never leaving, only wishing. But how much less rewarding! There's always the chance that when we make that reach, take that leap, that we'll reach the stars, that we'll grasp them and soar farther than even we had imagined. But in order to do so we have to take the risk. We have to be willing to give up something, maybe a lot of things. We have to be willing to experience times of failure, where maybe we do just come crashing back down, and then we have to be willing to get back up and try again. The vast majority of the time this will most likely be the case. But sometimes, in our leap for the stars, we may just grasp one, but perhaps not the one we had originally intended to. It seems to me that in our pursuit for a dream we will often discover a new one, perhaps completely different from the one we had previously imagined, and we may find that we are indeed content with the realization of that heretofore unimagined dream. The man who goes out to become a doctor may discover that he is perhaps meant to be a teacher. Something he had never imagined, but then he loves it, loves it more than he could have ever imagined, and perhaps more than he could have ever loved being a doctor. This new dream becomes his reality. No longer is he standing, merely wishing for what could be. He soars among the stars, discovering things he would have previously never realized, all because he was willing to take the leap and trust what God may give him. After all, we never quite know where the pursuit of our dreams will take us, but one thing is for certain, in order to soar, we must first make the leap.

Jambo!

Jambo wote! In case you hadn't noticed, that's kiswahili! Yep, that's right, me and my roommate Daniel have begun a quest to learn kiswahili! Let me give you a little background on why in the world we would want to learn this language. The fact is, both Daniel and I are slightly obsessed with the idea of going to Africa. For the past week or more, Africa has probably constituted the vast majority of our conversations. Prior to that I'm sure it's dominated our mission thoughts for a few years. With mission calls coming up so quickly it has merely brought those thoughts to the forefront of our minds. After all, we have both dreamed of going to an African country and serving the people there for quite awhile. In all honesty we have no idea why we want to go there. If we were to really think it through you'd think we'd change our minds. Africa is a dangerous, poverty ridden, often genocidal continent. It is a continent of wars, corruption, crime, death, and despair. However, for some reason it contains a definite allure. The culture there is rich, the people often friendly and full of good will. There are stories of success, faith, and hope, that ring forth from the destitute depths of nations. It is not all bad, and while most definitely dangerous, the people there are still children of God. Who else could need the Gospel of Christ more than those that seem to suffer most? Now don't get me wrong, I will not be disappointed if I do not go to Africa. I am fully aware that throughout the world there are many of God's children that need the Gospel as badly as those in Africa. After all, don't we all need to hear that joyous message! And so, wherever I am called to serve the Lord, I know that there will be those who will receive His message and enter into His rest. That is definitely what ultimately matters, and I know that where I am called will be the place where I can best serve, and probably where I can learn the most about myself and what I need to do and become in my life. Plus, how could I be disappointed in a call that was given to me in the premortal realm! A call I have been foreordained to perform! There is power in the concept of foreordination, and I relish in the thought that I perhaps promised one of my brothers that I would find him and bring him the joy I would be privileged enough to have in my life from its beginning! There is honestly nothing else I would rather do at this point in my life, and wherever I am called to serve, there is nowhere else I would rather go, even if it's not Africa. I cannot wait to serve the Lord, to bring His message to people throughout the world, to show them the joy that I have found in the message of The Book of Mormon and in Christ's Atonement! There are few things that can bring greater joy than bringing joy to the life of another, and that is why I am willing to serve. I want people to know what I know, to feel what I feel, to have the spirit in their lives, and to know that they are Children of God with the divine potential to become like God! To know that Christ loves them, that he suffered for them, and that He lives! There is no greater message, and I feel privileged to know that I will be called to bring it to God's children throughout the world. So for now, Kwaheri, Adios, Zai jian, Tschus, and goodybe. We'll see what language I'll serve in, but in reality, it doesn't matter, because I will have been called to serve!

Ode to Chemistry

Chemistry, the stereocenter of my eye? I think not,
For when I think of you, what do I see?
Propyl chains, and methyl groups, endless chemistry.
Carbon chains from floor to ceiling,
Mirror images, right and left, and all these things
Speak death, as well do Cyclo-rings.

And what does it matter, in the end,
If I can tell one type from the other?
For what am I? Merely a humble bio major.
I study life in all its realms, all but its chemistry.
I know the cell, from its end to start,
and of breathing lungs and beating hearts.

For in the end, what does it matter
If one methylene is different from another?
Biology is what governs life,
and not Chemistry with all its strife!
So I end my ode to you, most loathsome Chemistry.
I think I'll go and learn what they call Biology.

Run, Run, Run

This is my first running post on this Running Croft blog of mine in a long time! This was a pretty fun run I did, actually it wasn't all that fun, it was long, hard, and slightly painful. Luckily I was in one of those moods where I was extremely unhappy that I've allowed myself to get out of shape, so that fueled me throughout the run. Plus, I wanted to touch Utah Lake!

New Blog

So I started a new blog, a photo documentary of my college life! Let me know what you think!